It was the days of running from my bedroom to hear the sweet sound of hymns reverberating through the house. It was knowing that although alzheimer’s was taking my grandmother’s mind and memories it had not taken the memorized notes from her mind or fingers. It’s a comfort of knowing that there was still a little piece of her left in the body that still said that she was with us.
It’s been five years now since my grandmother passed away. I was living in the snow capped mountains of Colorado and my flight was cancelled due to the snow. It was a sad realization at 2 am that I will never forget. My entire family was able to return home to Iowa for her funeral and to support my grandfather. I was the only one held back from being there. It was a difficult time and still hard to understand why I was not allowed to be go.
These keys are one tangible way of knowing what was the last thing in her heart and mind. It was the hymns – love songs to her Lord – that could not be taken away. A few random tears are slowly making their way down my face as I write these memories. The sweet melodic tones and my childlike mind come back. It’s the comfort that I knew from those sounds. If I heard her music I knew my mother was probably cooking a feast for men in the kitchen in celebration of Thanksgiving or Christmas. It was knowing that my grandfather was either watching the parade with my father, building something with my brothers or falling asleep on the couch.
These keys represent a safe time and more than that an innocent perspective on the world. A safe time where I had all those important and pivotal positions in my family still in place. The piano was no longer usable and would not hold or carry a tune. It had more value in memories than in the sound that could come from it. These keys that still have tape on the ends with a random pencil markings of E, G, B, and F showing our attempt at trying to remember keys for lessons.
As it was being taken away my sister and I took keys. We both made a set and will frame them to keep in our homes. It’s not a normal item to frame, but it’s a way of remembering. It’s a physical item I can show our kids one day of the great grandmother they had before their time.
It’s these tangible pieces that tell us of our history and legacy. What is it in your life that can bring you back to a sound or smell? One that reminds you of your innocence and legacy?
Thank you for drawing tears from my eyes and emotion from my heart. As a mother, hearing you cherish the sounds, smell and sights of your childhood with Grandpa and Grandma is precious. Always remember that your love and acceptance created safety for Grandma in those years of change. I love you!
beautiful, katie!
Thanks for sharing Katie. I can relate so much to your story. I lost my great-grandmother to Alzheimer’s. I remember seeing my grandfather get so upset because Maw Maw couldn’t remember anyone’s name somedays, but like your precious grandmother, she would sit down at the piano and play beautiful hymns. As an adult looking back, I truly feel this is God’s way of showing us his power over sickness and death. He loves his children and never leaves their side. In the ability to still play the sweet hymns, I feel it is God’s way of letting us know that even in thier last days, he was with them and fellowshipping with them and preparing them to see him face-to-face. Thank you for your beautiful words and the imagery to go along with them. What a beautiful way to remember her. In remembering your grandmother, it is a reminder to us all of how precious life is and how small things mean so much! Have a blessed day!
hello! i stumbled upon your blog from your Twitter stream. Your blog and images are so lovely, I’ll be sure to visit again 🙂 Oh yeah…and isn’t Skype cool, i got to talk to my 95 year old grandfather in Florida on his birthday the other day with video chat…he got to see his great grandkids 😉
Katie, my Granny and I have a very strong bond that I think you would appreciate. I often find myself worrisome about the day when she will no longer be with me and it makes me very sad. Of course in just a matter of seconds I remind myself that life is about living, not thinking about dying. I savor every single second that I get to spend with her. I know that when her time comes I will have memories and gifts like your piano keys. I can see that her legacy thrives in you and I can only hope to honor that for all the amazing women that I have been blessed to be related to.
I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s as well a few years ago. It is a hard thing to deal with. Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories with us – and your keys! – and making me pause, slow down, breathe, and think about what holds the memories for me. You made me smile through misty, water-filled eyes.
So perfectly written Katie and a perfect way to capture our feelings for these precious keys. This weekend as Jason had the saw going and the kids were getting dirty outside, The Old Rugged Cross came on the radio and I, as I am now, starting crying. The memory of Grandpa’s favorite hymn, the words that so perfectly captured his heart, especially in the last years, and the reminder of those times we’ve lost and are in our past. These memories we share are priceless and are part of what make both of us into the women we are today. Ahhh, but I miss both of them. One more feel of Grandma’s soft skin or to feel Grandpa’s stiff, hard arms around me once more… They are both loved and cherished.